The habit of being needed—and why it turns into dependence.

Men often confuse love with the habit of being needed. They want to be wanted, to feel like something would fall apart without them. But when they meet a woman who can live without them, they become confused. They feel hurt not because they're unloved, but because they don't depend on her. They don't understand how they can live without their participation, how they can be happy without their salvation. And then the psychological game begins. They begin to do everything to regain their sense of importance: provoke, distance themselves, check to see if she misses them. And she simply watches. Not because she's indifferent, but because she knows: true affection isn't dependence, but a choice. A woman who doesn't hold on gives a man a chance to be truly there, not out of fear of being forgotten. But not everyone is ready for such freedom.